Farewell

Okay, so I know that I said that we would be having updates on this blog while the new one is set up, but I am going to go ahead and give you the link for the new one. This one will continue to be up but will be more of a personal one.

please vist:
http://fouk.blogspot.com

thank you for reading, and I hope to "see" all of you at the new blog.

Teaspoon

Not So Deep Thoughts

Remember those? Back when SNL was good, after it was crap, after it was great? Infact it is amazing to me that SNL has even managed to stay on the air. The first season was bad, it turned into a great show with the same cast but that first year was rough, cast members trying to find their niche and who worked really well together, but with comic geniuses, Bill, Eddie, Steve, John, Gilda, and Dan, you are pretty much gaurenteed a hit even with loonie Lorne at the helm.

Then in the early 80s it became so much crap. But people still hoping for great comedy like the Blues Brothers or the Samarai Chef, and a destinct lack of stand-up comedy style shows on a pre-Comedy Central TV world, we were kind of stuck having to watch for that maybe one funny sketch a week on SNL.

Then came the new crew, Mike Myers, Dana Carvy, Phil Hartman, etc. in the late 80s. Finally SNL was funny again also guest stars actually wanted to be on the show. Unlike the early 80s when it seemed to be the B-List stars we started getting real stars and even some that could do comedy.

Then SNL took a nose dive when they basically lost all of their big names and had to bring in a whole new cast without the help of the known guys being there, aside from that Tim Meadows guy and we all know how he was the REAL star of the show, not Mike Myers or Phil Hartman right?

I have to be honest, with MAD TV on the air and Comedy Central going strong the effort to stay awake late enough to catch SNL just didn't seem to enough. There was no point, the big name guest hosts are still coming but without the backing of a truely funny crew it just isn't the same. Will Farrell was/is hilarious but for the most part when he was on the show he was the only truely funny one, until the end of his run when we got Tine Frey, and Jimmy Falon, but it jsut doesn't get me going anymore.

And wow did I go off topic, or did I?...

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We here at the Foutain of Useless Knowledge would like to apologize for the lack of updates recently. We would also like to apologize for the lack any interesting content ever.

We here at the FoUK pride ourselves (shut up I am trying to be serious here... shit I wound up typing that, now look at what you made me do. Stop laughing you stupid little man...) As I was saying, we here at the FoUK PRIDE ourselves at bringing you the readers the highest level of lowbrow humor and to that end you will be seeing some serious, hopefully funny, changes to your beloved FoUK.

We will be posting updates to the current Blog while we update and build the new one. Once the new one is fully up we will be closing down this one and hopefully all of you will visit us at our new site.

Thank you,

The FoUK Management.

(Now get me my gun I am going to shoot the little runt...)

a poem

- LOVE -
Love, what is it about the word love?
Why does it have such power to make us feel such things?
It can make us feel as low as the dirt, or as high as the sky above.
It can make us feel like we are floating on butterfly wings.

Can you grasp love, can you hold it tight?
How do you know if you are in love, if it is just a word?
Why can it be bad when you try to hold it with all your might?
But if you don't try at all it will fly away like a bird.

So I have a question, if love is so great?
How is it possible for love to breed such hate?

Love has been at the root of all of history's wars.
Love of power, love of god, or love of land.
Love of woman, love of fathers, mothers, sons and daughters.
How is that possible, if love is so grand?

But that is for someone with a wiser head.
How do you know if you are in love, if you have never been before?
I have failed to find the answers in all the books I have read.
Is it something you say, or something you feel deep in your core?

Is it the same for both you and I?
In the end I think that it is all different, but also the same.
When you are truly in love, it is easy to look each other in the eye.
But if you are truly in love it's so easy to hurt, and that is the shame.

By,

Shea

TGIF

Man I love Fridays, what is it about this day that brings smiles to so many? Is it the knowledge of a job well done? Knowing that you in your own way have helped to keep the company going? Another wonderful week of working with your great co-workers?

Or is it that you can take your paycheck and get shit-faced for the next 3 days, and then drag your sorry ass back to work on Tuesday because suckers, we got ourselves a 3 day weekend?

You will have to decide. For me I am already buzzed and hope to not even remember posting this.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY EVERYBODY!!!!!!

overflow

See the problem with a Foutain of Useless Knowledge is that every now and then it overflows and then you just have a mess, a big old wet, slippery mess.

why is it that the better it tastes the worst that it is for you and infact most likely could kill you or at least speed up your imminent death? This goes for more then just food, take alchohol, drugs, paint chips, etc..

In Alaska and actually most states, if someone breaks into your house and he gets injured, by their own fault or by you shooting the stupid sonnavabitch, and he gets out of the house he can sue you. So the way the law is written if you are going to cause a burgler bodily harm for breaking into your house make sure you kill him, otherwise he may be living in your house after he sues you and the same stupid jury that let off OJ and MJ award him all of your worldly belongings.

Stupid Question: Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Not-so stupid question: Why is it the more someone says they are not trying to make excuses for a mistake, the more excuses they tell you?

Don't tell someone that you are on the way if you haven't even left your house.

Shit rolls downhill, why does it always feel like I am at the base of Mt. Everest?

PSP is good, PSP is great, PSP the choice of a new generation, I want my P.S..P., PSP phone home, Frankly PSP I don't give a damn. What do youo mean you think I have a problem? Alot of people sleep with PSPs there is nothing WRONG WITH IT!

We are at our most couragious after the fact, "Man if he had done something like that to me I would have kicked his ass" yeah right you would have curled up in a ball and most likely peed yourself shut the eff up!

I think that first dates should be handled like job interviews with resumes and everything.

Why do people insist on telling me "and you wonder why you're single"? No damnit I don't wonder why, I know exactly why and none of it is my fault.

personalized ringtones are getting way out of hand, I now have "Bring out you dead" from Monty Python on my phone, and I am talking about the whole friggin scene. I laugh my ass off everytime my phone rings now.

My gawd it has been almost 2 whole months since my last post and I know that all my friends out there in blogland probably have quit there jobs in worry over what has happened to the Teaspoon. I say worry not faithful squires for I am back to lay more useless knowledge upon you, and hopefully remember to post more often.

In my defence, though not as strong as Michael's, I have been out of town for the last several weeks on a tour of the motorcycle school that allows me to maintain my many expensive habits such as... nevermind. While on the road I managed to buy myself a PSP and for those of you that are not as techniclogicaly savvy (by that I mean not having WAY too much free time on your hands) as I am, PSP stands for Playstation Portable. This is a rediculously unneeded piece of equipment for my arsenal but hey it was a good deal and the damn thing is pretty freekin incredible. I bought a movie for it and even though the screen is only 4 inches, it is like watching a high definition TV in the palm of your hand. But it is also a unbeleivable waste of time. But in the time that is driving a big rig there isn't really anything else to do in between the time that you are driving and when you are sleeping.

I am still hooked on WoW but I have managed to wean myself off of it slightly, due mostly to the above. So while my plan was to stop playing WoW so much to give me more time to work on my side projects I have only managed to find something else to take up that time. I think that I should just give up on sleep all together and operate on power naps 4 times a day, I saw Kramer do it on Seinfeld and it seemed to work for him, though to be honest I missed the last of the episode so if anyone saw it and knows something I don't, please let me know.