Priceless

6 pints of bitter at the saloon bar of the Horse and Groom plus tip - 5-pounds

Bag of beer nuts - .50 pence

A towel - 3 pounds

Catching a ride from the Vogons seconds before your planet is destroyed to make way for a intergalactic super highway? - Priceless

Happy St. Patty's Day

I always look forward to Get-Drunk-Off-You-Non-Irish-Ass-On-Green-Beer-While-Pretending-To-Be-Irish Day, with a bit of apprehension. I usually forget until I am on the way to work that I did not put on any green, and therefore have the never-annoying "hey are you not wearing any green today? You know what that means?" followed by the inevitable St. Patrick's Day pinch.

- Who the hell came up with that anyways? - three Irish bishops are sitting around a table trying to work out celebratory things to do on St. Patricks day. This being an Irish Saint and therefore an Irish holiday drinking had already been thought of and agreed upon.

"what annoying thing could we come up with for people to do to other people?" asked John

"Hey I know let's have them pinch anyone who is not wearing green!" Shamus slurred from his position of head on the table and fist wrapped tightly around the mug of Green ale.

"Gawd Dammit Shamus, stop drinking that damn green beer you're talking crazy." Yelled Daniel.

*Shamus noticing Daniel is not wearing any green pinches him* *Daniel punches Shamus out cold, but the tradition begins*

anyways Happy St. Patrick Days to all and to all a good night. (That's right right?)

Good drinking good drinking.

From the FoUK

• Peanuts are niether a pea nor a nut.
• If Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, what is the grumpiest?
• Why is plausable deniablility so unplausable some times.
• I think that dating should be like job interviews:
  Man's resume to a woman:
  Education:
  Employment:
  Dating Experience:
  Relationship with family:
  Sport watching tendencies:
  Woman's resume to a man:
  Skills/hobbies (sexual):
• Cat's are evil evil evil (there are exceptions to this rule)
• World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game, World of Warcraft is not real it is just a game.
• Excuse me I have to go and play World of Warcraft...

7 Deadly sins? Are you sure that there are only 7?

So I got to thinking that if there can be amendments to the Constitution, and we can come up with new laws shouldn't we be able to work out some adjustments to the ol' 7 deadly sins, or the original Ten Commandments.

Let us ponder and see if we can come up with anything that can help improve on these beliefs and ideas.

I think if we try really hard we can come up with at least another 3 or 4 sins. :-)

My best friend is a pro-wrestler, now how does your life look?

Okay so the title of this post is a little misleading. The person that I am talking about was my best friend during high school, but I was not lying about him being a pro wrestler.

For the sake of this story we will call my friend Graham. Graham moved in next door to me when I was a freshman in high school. He was in Junior High at the time but as there really weren't any other kids in the area we became friends. In Junior High he started wrestling and when he got into High School he was on the Varsity Football team and Varsity wrestling team.

Now during High-school Graham was about 5'7'' but weighed in aroun a buck-seventy. The boy was muscle. When he graduated from HS he had a chance to go to a college in Colorado on a football scholarship. He turned this down to marry his HS sweetheart and to move to Texas to become, yes no joke, a professional wrestler.

But wait. Theres more...

In high school Graham was known for having a new girlfriend jsut about every week, until his last one that he married that is. But before her like I said he had girls just hanging off of him. What was really funny though was how extremely homophobic he was. I mean if you even joked that he could have gay tendencies he would clock you.

So we have this homophopic married wannabe WWE pro wrestler who moves to Texas which for the most part fits his personality as homosexuality in the South is not a largely smiled upon preference if you know what I mean. So somehow Graham hooks up with what I have found out is a large wrestling organization in Texas, meaning that he now travels across the entire state and wrestles in front of tens of thousands of fans.

But the best part is that his whole wrestling persona is that of a GAY wrestler. Yes that is correct folks the biggest homophobe that I have known is now pretending to be gay in front of thousands of people each Saturday night.

God bless America, that's all I can say. God bless America.